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Commando Bear

0 comments | 1:15 am | top |
Wandering through town the other night. We had been down at Hagley Park checking out the gay daffodils, and then waltzed through the Arts Centre through into the center of the city.  We popped into the little dairy which is the one just past McDonalds there.  The others got some pretty stock standard drinks, but I went for a can of Commando Bear Beverage.  It was "made in flippin Thailand" as I said to my friends.  At the bottom of the can - as you can see in the picture, the customer is assured that the drink is in-fact "Non Alcohol".  On the side of the can, I was relieved to see that the drink was certified Halal by The Central Islamic Committee of Thailand.  It was however, disconcerting to discover upon finishing the drink that it had been produced on 13 December 2007.  Not exactly what you'd call fresh.  Probably had enough preservatives in it to mummify a blimmin herd of elephants.

Wow, from the first sip I was regretting I had bought the stuff.  It was just a generic "energy-drink" flavour, but absolutely flat, not a drop of CO2 in it.  Yuck.  I was feeling pretty crook by the time I'd finished the can.  You know how it is when you spend money on something and want to make sure you don't waste any of it, even though it's no good.  I'm sure the stuff is cancer-causing, or maybe it's the cure for cancer.  I don't know, but for something that disgusting, it must be right over at one end of the scale.  How the stuff got through the border I shall never know.  Holding my stomach and groaning pitifully, I staggered up to the drinking fountain outside the Cathedral and rinsed the can out a couple of times and then re-filled it with some of the good stuff.

Anyway, I love the can.  Now if they were only to market it as the "official energy drink of the Russian Army", lose the halal verification, and pump some carbon-dioxide in there, it might actually be quite nice.



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