A farmer was showing his city-friend around his farm. He showed him the cows and the sheep, and his big new tractor in the equipment shed. As they were heading back to the farm-house, they stopped at the pig-pen. The man from the city looked at the pigs, and was surprised to see that one of them had a wooden leg! He asked the farmer why the pig had a wooden leg. "Oh that pig," said the farmer, "that pig is a very special pig." He pulled out his tobacco, rolled a cigarette, lit up and sighed contentedly. "A few years back our house was burning down, and we were all asleep inside" the farmer began. "This 'ere pig smelled the smoke and saw the flames. He ran into the burning house and, holding the collar of my pajamas with his teeth, pulled me out. Then he ran back in and pulled my wife out of the house. Then he ran back into the house and pulled out my young girl to safety. Then he ran back into the house to pull out our baby son. Finally, braving the terrible flames, he ran back in and collected our valuable heirlooms such as our wedding photo-album, and dragged them all out onto the front lawn, to safety. Then he ran to the well and filled a bucket with water and ran back to the house to pour the water on the flames. He kept running back and forth from the well to the house, keeping the flames under control until the fire-engine rolled up. "Wow, what an amazing pig!" exclaimed the man from the city, leaning on a fence-post and looking intently at the pig. "But you haven't told me how it got the wooden leg" he reminded the farmer. "Oh," said the farmer, "you don't eat a pig like that all at once!"
- wrote this one from memory, since I couldn't find a version that was any good online.
Saturday 31 January 2009
I'm Still Here...
Star Studded Super Step hasn't succumbed yet. I think I'll be back into blogging around the beginning of March or thereabouts. In the meantime, I'm enjoying sitting back and keeping an eye on your blogs - and getting some reading done! I'll hopefully write up some sort of a book review for the one I'm reading at the moment... if I eventually get to the end of it.
A couple of other things... Gran Torino is an absolute stunner of a movie if you get a chance to see it. 9/10 I reckon, for Clint Eastwood who directs and is the lead actor. It's currently #82 movie in the World and has only been out for a couple of weeks. Also, check out the new online pro-life store at the Prolife NZ website. We hope to get a whole bunch of new products up on there shortly.
;)
Friday 16 January 2009
Weekly Joke
The Waltons invited their new neighbors over to dinner. During dinner Mr. Walton was asked what he did for a living.
Eight-year-old Brian Walton jumped in and said, "Daddy is a fisherman!"
Mrs. Walton replied, "Brian, why do say that? Your daddy is a stockbroker, not a fisherman."
"No, Mom. Every time we visit Dad at work and he hangs up the phone, he laughs, rubs his hands together, and says, 'I just caught another fish!'"
Eight-year-old Brian Walton jumped in and said, "Daddy is a fisherman!"
Mrs. Walton replied, "Brian, why do say that? Your daddy is a stockbroker, not a fisherman."
"No, Mom. Every time we visit Dad at work and he hangs up the phone, he laughs, rubs his hands together, and says, 'I just caught another fish!'"
Friday 9 January 2009
Weekly Joke
Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
SARAH PALIN: Before it got to the other side, I shot the chicken, cleaned and dressed it, and had chicken burgers for lunch.
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now and will remain against it.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
From GCFL
SARAH PALIN: Before it got to the other side, I shot the chicken, cleaned and dressed it, and had chicken burgers for lunch.
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now and will remain against it.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
From GCFL
Friday 2 January 2009
Nature Abhors a Vacuum
...following on from my post on the meaning(lessness) of life, this from MercatorNet...
Click here to read the entire article.
There has been a lot of talk about greed on Wall Street in recent months, but the greed of Black Friday shoppers in the United States takes some beating. Wall Street barons may have done some wicked things, but have they, individually or en masse, physically trampled anyone to death?
That is what some main street New Yorkers managed to do last Friday in their frenzy to bag bargains at a Wal-Mart store on a day designated the “start of the holiday-shopping season” -- once known as Christmas shopping.
Before rushing ahead with “the moral of this story is” observations, let’s pause to take in exactly what kind of death 34-year-old shop worker Jdimytai Damour died. A shrieking mob of fellow human beings burst through the front doors of the store, knocked him down onto the linoleum tiles and streamed right over him and around him, injuring him and robbing him of air. He was a hefty man, 6-foot-5 and 270 pounds, but he died of asphyxiation.
It is an horrific death. Imagine the shock and terror of being hit and enveloped by that tsunami of solid flesh, pounding feet and frenzied voices -- your last conscious image of the human race...
...Nature abhors a vacuum. If people have nothing higher to fill their imaginations and get them out of bed in the morning than a super-discounted 42-inch flat screen television -- or, for the Wall Street crowd, a luxury yacht and a subtropical retreat -- that is what they will go after. The death of Jdimytai Damour shows where that spiritual poverty leads. It is not the only sign, of course, but it is a compelling one, and a call to action for all those who value the transcendent dimension of the human being.
Click here to read the entire article.
Weekly Joke (yes it's back)
I decided to get my husband to address Christmas cards, as I had so much to do. I arranged everything we needed, then hopefully pulled up a chair and said, "Come on, Dear, let's get these out of the way."
He glanced at the array on the table, turned away and went into the den, returning moments later with a high stack of cards, stamped, sealed, and addressed.
"They're last year's," he said. "I forgot to mail them. Now let's go out to dinner and relax."
From Daily Humour. For past weekly jokes, click here.
He glanced at the array on the table, turned away and went into the den, returning moments later with a high stack of cards, stamped, sealed, and addressed.
"They're last year's," he said. "I forgot to mail them. Now let's go out to dinner and relax."
From Daily Humour. For past weekly jokes, click here.
Let's go Fly a Kite
Yesterday I climbed up a tree in the park and got a kite that had been stuck up there. It still had a decent bit of string tied to it, so we flew it around a bit, it is good fun trying to keep it up there in the azure.
Click here to see larger versions of the photos on Flickr.
Let's Go Fly a Kite - from Marry Poppins
Mr. Banks:
With tuppence for paper and strings
You can have your own set of wings
With your feet on the ground
You're a bird in a flight
With your fist holding tight
To the string of your kite
Oh, oh, oh!
Let's go fly a kite
Up to the highest height!
Let's go fly a kite and send it soaring
Up through the atmosphere
Up where the air is clear
Oh, let's go fly a kite!
Bert:
When you send it flyin' up there
All at once you're lighter than air
You can dance on the breeze
Over 'ouses and trees
With your first 'olding tight
To the string of your kite
Londoners:
Oh, oh, oh!
Let's go fly a kite
Up to the highest height!
Let's go fly a kite and send it soaring
Up through the atmosphere
Up where the air is clear
Let's go fly a kite!
Click here to see larger versions of the photos on Flickr.
Let's Go Fly a Kite - from Marry Poppins
Mr. Banks:
With tuppence for paper and strings
You can have your own set of wings
With your feet on the ground
You're a bird in a flight
With your fist holding tight
To the string of your kite
Oh, oh, oh!
Let's go fly a kite
Up to the highest height!
Let's go fly a kite and send it soaring
Up through the atmosphere
Up where the air is clear
Oh, let's go fly a kite!
Bert:
When you send it flyin' up there
All at once you're lighter than air
You can dance on the breeze
Over 'ouses and trees
With your first 'olding tight
To the string of your kite
Londoners:
Oh, oh, oh!
Let's go fly a kite
Up to the highest height!
Let's go fly a kite and send it soaring
Up through the atmosphere
Up where the air is clear
Let's go fly a kite!
Thursday 1 January 2009
Rush Here, Rush There, Get No Place
Today is the first day of 2009, and we are all one year older than we were on the first of January 2008. We are all one year closer to the day of our death. We see ageing men putting on their sandals, board-shorts and screen-printed t-shirts from Hallensteins. We see ageing women disfigured by layers of make-up, desperately trying to retain their youth. It is now offensive to mention someone's age, as it only serves as a reminder of how much longer that person has left on this planet Earth. In every direction we look, we see people running very busy lives. There's so much to do: work, sport, celebrities, parties, charity, family, holidays. In the words of Cliff Richard's song, "Funny thing the human race, Rush here, rush there, get no place."
King Solomon also saw the hopelessness of so many of the people around him. In Ecclesiastes 1:1-4 , he writes,
Solomon uses the word vanity in the same way that we would use the word meaningless. He is looking at life from through the eyes of someone who does not trust in God. He mentions specifically the seeming futility of work - the same thing Jesus addresses when he tells the parable of the Rich Fool. And indeed, without God, without absolute truth, everything is meaningless. Taxi driver Jose Martinez had it sorted out in an interview with LIFE Magazine where he said,
The thing is, people are so desperate to block out the truth that they fill their lives with ultimately pointless things. Whether it's the Cricket score from the weekend, or donating towards eye-operations for blind children in third-world countries, they will find something to keep them busy. Robert Altman, director of the Oscar-winning film Gosford Park summed this up when he said,
The Preacher saying "everything is meaningless", God telling the Rich fool that his life would be required of him that very night, the taxi-driver speaking of "getting ready to drop dead", and Robert Altman talking about his life being inconsequential - they are all correct - but only in their frame of reference. Because in Psalm 2, it talks about God sitting up in Heaven, laughing at the folly of the people down on His planet Earth who would stand against him. Yes, without God, everything is meaningless and I'll just crawl into a corner and cut my wrists thank-you very much. And without God, there is also no absolute right or wrong - and so you can't tell me that what I'm saying is correct, or a load of rubbish.
But God does exist. Though we rebel against Him, He has mercifully opened the door for us to escape His wrath - by sending His Son to the world as a little baby, on Christmas day 2008 years ago. Jesus was all God and all man, and throughout his entire life, he never sinned. When he died on the cross (Easter), He was paying the price for all the sins of the people who would put their trust in Him as their Lord and Saviour. That's all there is to it - there's no need to try and please God through good works - because compared with God's perfection, our good deeds are just filthy rags. Of course, on the other hand that doesn't mean we don't do good works - just that our salvation is not based on our ability to please God. What a relief!
King Solomon also saw the hopelessness of so many of the people around him. In Ecclesiastes 1:1-4 , he writes,
"Vanity of vanities", says the Preacher; "Vanity of vanities, all is vanity." What profit has a man from all his labour, in which he toils under the sun? One generation passes away, and another generation comes; But the earth abides forever"
Solomon uses the word vanity in the same way that we would use the word meaningless. He is looking at life from through the eyes of someone who does not trust in God. He mentions specifically the seeming futility of work - the same thing Jesus addresses when he tells the parable of the Rich Fool. And indeed, without God, without absolute truth, everything is meaningless. Taxi driver Jose Martinez had it sorted out in an interview with LIFE Magazine where he said,
"We're here to die, just live and die. I live driving a cab. I do some fishing, take my girl out, pay taxes, do a little reading, then get ready to drop dead. You've got to be strong about it. Life is a big fake..."
The thing is, people are so desperate to block out the truth that they fill their lives with ultimately pointless things. Whether it's the Cricket score from the weekend, or donating towards eye-operations for blind children in third-world countries, they will find something to keep them busy. Robert Altman, director of the Oscar-winning film Gosford Park summed this up when he said,
"None of it - gambling, money, winning or losing - has any real value. It is simply a way of killing time, like crossword puzzles... I am sitting here today in this bleak atmosphere in the middle of winter, making a silly movie, and to me it is an adventure. I have no idea what it will be like. But even if it works it will be for nothing. If I had never lived, if the sperm that hit the egg had missed, it would have made no difference to anything."
The Preacher saying "everything is meaningless", God telling the Rich fool that his life would be required of him that very night, the taxi-driver speaking of "getting ready to drop dead", and Robert Altman talking about his life being inconsequential - they are all correct - but only in their frame of reference. Because in Psalm 2, it talks about God sitting up in Heaven, laughing at the folly of the people down on His planet Earth who would stand against him. Yes, without God, everything is meaningless and I'll just crawl into a corner and cut my wrists thank-you very much. And without God, there is also no absolute right or wrong - and so you can't tell me that what I'm saying is correct, or a load of rubbish.
But God does exist. Though we rebel against Him, He has mercifully opened the door for us to escape His wrath - by sending His Son to the world as a little baby, on Christmas day 2008 years ago. Jesus was all God and all man, and throughout his entire life, he never sinned. When he died on the cross (Easter), He was paying the price for all the sins of the people who would put their trust in Him as their Lord and Saviour. That's all there is to it - there's no need to try and please God through good works - because compared with God's perfection, our good deeds are just filthy rags. Of course, on the other hand that doesn't mean we don't do good works - just that our salvation is not based on our ability to please God. What a relief!
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