Abortions: Best Value, Lowest Prices

Stand-up comedian and social/political commentator Steven Crowder attacks Planned Parenthood's marketing of their abortion services using taxpayer dollars.  I saw this video a few weeks back and was hesitant to post it, as it uses humour to discuss a subject which is the furtherest thing from funny this side of the black stump.  However it's a short message well worth watching, whether you're pro-life or pro-death.

Steven has a number of other good videos dealing with such subjects as gun control and the Quaran

Captions

"This is the last time I EVER do on-line dating..." - Isabella

The person who comes up with the most ingenious caption for this picture will receive the dubious honour of deciding the topic for one of my future posts on this blog.

"I kid you not"
- Peter Parker's teacher

LOL

I got another one of those pass-it-on emails, and had to post a couple of the pictures here...

Cheers Evan.

Fred Dagg as John Howard

Stumbled upon a hilarious collection of videos starring Kiwi Fred Dagg (aka John Clarke) and Bryan Dawe.  I've got nothing against John Howard, but these are wonderfully funny videos.

Iraq strategies | climate change | Misinformed Australian

Yeah Right

The Christian Union at the University of Canterbury is running a daily newspaper entitled "The Daily Prophet" for one week. I picked up today's edition and was amused (perhaps disproportionately) by the Weather Forecast down the bottom of the front page, so I have reproduced it here for your enjoyment...

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Darn

Weekly Joke

Three Australians and three Maori's are travelling by train to a Rugby match at the World Cup in England. At the station, the three Aussies each buy a ticket and watch as the three Maori's buy just one ticket between them.

"How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?" asks one of the Aussies. "Watch and learn bro," answers one of the Maori's

They all board the train. The Aussies take their respective seats but all three Maori's cram into a toilet and close the door behind them.

Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says, "Ticket please."

The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The Aussies see this and agree it was quite a clever idea. So after the game, they decide to copy the Maori's on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all that).

When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Maori's don't buy a ticket at all!!

"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed Aussie.

"Watch and learn bro ," answers a Maori ..

When they board the train the three Aussies cram into a toilet and soon after the three Maori's cram into another nearby. The train departs.

Shortly afterwards, one of the Maori's leaves the toilet and walks over to the toilet where the Aussies are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket please."

Weekly Joke

Ol' Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the hospital, near death.The family called their pastor to stand with them. As the pastor stood next to the bed, Ol' Fred's condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on.

The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Ol' Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then he died.

The pastor thought it best not to look at the note at that time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket.

At the funeral, as he was finishing the message, he realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Ol' Fred died.

He said, "You know, Ol' Fred handed me a note just before he died. I haven't looked at it, but knowing Fred, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all."

He opened the note, and read, "Idiot, you're standing on my oxygen tube!"

........................................................

Thanks to Si for this joke. Definititely keen to hear from people with suggestions, as I'm kind of getting towards the bottom of my pile of jokes. Cheers.

Weekly Joke

A rabbi and a priest get into a car accident and it's a bad one. Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly, neither are hurt. They crawl out of their cars and the rabbi sees the priest's collar and says, "So you're a priest. I'm a rabbi. Just look at our cars. There's nothing left but we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God. God must have meant that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days."

And the priest said, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God. And the rabbi said, "and look at this. Here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of Mogen David wine didn't break, surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.

And so he handed the bottle to the priest. The priest said he agreed, took a few big swigs, and handed the bottle back to the rabbi. The rabbi took the bottle, didn't drink at all, put the cap on, and handed it back to the priest. The priest asked, "aren't you going to have any?"And the rabbi replied, "No....I think I'll just wait for the police."

Poetry from Italy

When I was in Italy, looks like 1 May 2005, I sat down with my Toshiba Satellite 2450 (sigh... what a beauty of a laptop) and wrote some poetry. I just can't get enough of looking back over some of my old writing, hope you don't mind my reminisce.

How do you know we had to go?
Huh, every chance you get - you blow.
Tell me why, I'd love to know.
Just please don't let us miss the show.

Most of them say go with the flow
Ask the guys who earn their dough
They don't hang their jeans down low
All wear their fluro glasses though.

Come on kid, lets do this bro,
We'll get the job done even so.
Lets on ahead, defeat the foe.
You'll never shine if you don't glow

Run ahead and stub your toe.
Gotta know just when to say no...
I'll wait behind and watch you grow.
Get the bunch of keys, kid, go

Don't go fast, you gotta go slow.
Take it nice and easy bro.
That's what Italians do, you know.
Oh boy enough of all this Oh.

And this next thing is a bit random, but heck, why should I act all normal? Nobody's normal.

...But, hey, a 1, 2, 3! I'm no good at making beds.
I prefer drinking wine insteads...
Or chopping off bad people's heads.
Sometimes I feel I've got no legs,
But then I'm told that rum comes in kegs.
Hang the Washing out with pegs,
Mum pleads with me; she asks, she begs.
Why do you always use the hose?
People make you pay through the nose.
And don't break the thorny bits off the rose.
Why are kids so stupid? Who knows?
Lets now stop this weirdo prose.

You ask too many questions!

how many five year olds could you take on in a fight?

29

pebkac

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