Wednesday, 21 June 2006

UDB*

SalutationS

I am at a loss to know what to upload as my next blog.

So, based on the largest number of requests by individual people, for one of the two following subjects, I will proceed.

First option is an article I wrote in Ireland, and is altogether quite entirely relevant to a particular bill which at this time is being put to the New Zealand Parliament. It will not be edited from the original cut, and so should therefore have a certain degree of contoversiality attached to it.

the second option would be another story about Darren Raxworthy and his colleagues. I can't brief you on that at this stage, however.

In the meantime, please check out

www.bigglesfliesthemainland.bravehost.com

*UDB stands for User Decides Basis

Tuesday, 30 May 2006

The Router

"...Hiding his face behind an outer of 24 SPC baked bean cans, Darren pulled his SIG from his pocket. Switching the laser on, Darren aimed for the right tyre of the black Holden..."


The day before tomorrow, 1545 hours.

He spat the hairpin from between his teeth, into his idle left hand. Many soldiers take a small photo of their sweet-heart into action, but Darren however, was content with the hair-pin as a keepsake. His hand trembled, shaking almost arthritically as he slipped the hairpin into the left pocket of his jeans. Casting a hurried glance over his shoulder, and out through the back window of the Suzuki minivan, Darren rested his right hand on the keys, which were in the ignition. “Jase!”. Darren spoke quickly, and under his breath. “Give 'us five” Jason returned. “It's this fog mate. You know, water resonates at 2.4 gigahertz, and my wifi runs at 2.4 as well” “Huh”, responded Darren. “Pretty dodgy reception, can't you back up to the corner?” Darren swung his arm round behind his seat, grabbing hold of his well-used and threadbare back-pack. He pulled out an antenna. “This any good?” It had a good solid base, which was magnetic, and a roll of cable attached. “Fantastic – but we need a pig-tail, bro” Darren was pretty up on the lingo, but he wasn't as clued up as his younger brother, when it came to computer speak. “Yes... I suppose we do” Darren agreed thoughtfully. “Give me that thing you were chewing on” Hesitating for a moment, Darren produced the hairpin. It was a very nice hairpin, slimline, not wavy, but a straight, almost cylindrical piece of metal, bent 180 degrees in the middle. Prising the two ends apart slightly, Jason slotted one end of the hairpin into the appropriate hole in his PCMCIA wireless card in his Laptop, and the other end, he slipped into the end of the antenna cable. The passenger window winding mechanism of the van was broken, so that the window wouldn't wind down properly. A couple of nails, slotted through holes in the door panel held up the glass.

Jason got eye-contact with his brother, and pulled out the two nails. Darren sucked the air in between his clenched teeth, grimacing. The glass fell into the bottom of the door, but didn't break. Jase slapped the antenna onto the roof. “Beauty” Jason's grin was contagious. “Yep, gotcha... She's just sniffing the packets now... See, what this program does is, it access the router and checks out the post data, kind of reads the log, which is a very small file, stored on the firmware, inside the router itself... Jason spoke to himself, and so as not to leave Darren in the dark. “Instead of spending weeks, you see, sniffing the packets, it can do it all at once – should take a few minutes and we'll have our key.” Darren looked quizzically at his brother. “Sniffing; it's like, looking for patterns in the way the data is encrypted, works a treat” Jason trailed off, concentrating on his job. Darren fiddled with the radio, and found one station. “Cheap blimmin Suzuki vans...” Don't Panic by Coldplay was playing; Jason's eyes lit up and Darren lowered the volume sufficiently. Humming under his breath, mouthing the words of the song: “we live in a beautiful World...” Jason looked up “Right, she's copying. It's bigger than I expected, but what can you expect from Access?” They were here to borrow a database from their friendly neighborhood library, only, they'd forgotten their library cards, and so were bypassing the conventional withdrawal procedures. In fact, it was a tad more serious than that. The database consisted of a list of names and organisations that were deemed “potentially harmful to the state” With this database, for at least a few weeks, they could remain one step ahead of the enemy.

Since an early age, Darren was sure he had some measure of ESP. He found he was, more so than others, able to sense the presence of other people, before he saw or even heard them. When he and Jase, as young boys used to play Age of Empires together, It was always Darren that said when it was time to stop. Not so much because they weren't supposed to be playing, but that they'd been playing for too long... More often than not, Darren now thought, belligerently, Mum and Dad got home soon after we stopped. And now Darren, taking his right hand off the keys, and letting it rest on his coat pocket which hid his SIG Sauer, he glanced at the rear view mirror. “How long's it got?” “twenty-five seconds” Jase returned. Fifty meters behind them in the fog, Darren made out the figures of four men walking towards a tidy 99 Holden Commodore. “Bro! do your thing, there's some guys going to a car!” Darren spoke quietly and hoarsely. Fn+F6. Jason held down the keys on his Toshiba Satelite 2410. Since simplifying the source code the other day, Jason had been able to speed up the program's load time. Within two seconds, waveJam was open and Jase had jammed the radio wave that remote car keys operate on. Darren had no idea how it worked, but Jason seemed to be pretty keen on it. “Right mate, she's copied”. Jason grinned. Jase pulled the antenna in, waving unhelpfully at the men who looking towards the van. Pulling his head back in to the van, Jason looked strangely at Darren. “They're flippin getting in the car!” Darren swung himself over the flimsy driver's seat, into the back of the van. “Drive”, he ordered simply. Jason acted quickly, turning the keys even before he was seated. “Plenty of cars have keys and remotes, bro.” Darren breathed heavily. “This isn't Germany”. It was not, in fact, Germany, they were in the southern side of Auckland, New Zealand's largest city. The back tires spun, and the back of the van skewed round as Jason accelerated. “Gotta teach him to blimmin drive”, Darren thought to himself.

Lying full length in the back of the van, head facing the back door, Darren shouted “flip the boot!” The van veered into the center of the road as something happened in the boot opening mechanism. A convulsive shiver racked Darren's body as he punched the back door of the van. The back door swung violently open, and Darren hooked his feet round a bar of metal in the driver's seat. Hiding his face behind an outer of 24 SPC baked bean cans, Darren pulled his SIG from his pocket. Switching the laser on, Darren aimed for the tyres of the black Holden, that was now accelerating fast towards them. Darren clenched his teeth in a triumphant grin as he heard the distant and harsh “psshhh” of the Holden's right tyre. Whoever was driving was managing all right, Darren thought, as the black vehicle continued the pursuit, gaining on the white Suzuki minivan with the single wide blue racing stripe. Leaning out of the rear passanger window of the black Holden was a heavily built man wearing a German Army overcoat. With the hood low over his eyes, he aimed his M16 with grenade launcher attachment at the speeding minivan. Something violently struck the back of the passenger seat of the van. Darren spun round, and seeing the grenade rolling along the floor of the van towards him, he instinctively leaned round, grabbed it, and flung it out the door.

30.05.06, 800 hours.

Darren was sitting back in his office, leaning back in his good old office chair. Bit of a story behind the chair. Darren had received it along with the Toshiba Satelite 2410, when he started work for an IT company several years ago. But when his job was made redundant, the proprietors had let him hang onto his laptop and office chair. A large cup of tea held to his lips, in his right hand, Darren wiped his brow as he read one of the smaller headlines on the front page of the Herald, Auckland's daily newspaper. “4 die in horrific explosion” As Darren skimmed over the text, he saw “Police believe the explosion was not an accident”, and then down at the bottom of the article, “full coverage on pages 2-3”. The phone rang, and it was Darren's other brother, Lionel, who was in their base office, in Christchurch. “Mate! I got the list this morning!, this is going to be pretty useful...”

Thursday, 18 May 2006

the greenhorn's guide #1

home networking
please don't try this at home...

No longer is networking a specialised activity. Now even you can set up and maintain your own network.
the RJ45 (lan) to Serial converter;
plug it into your serial port.

the Serial to RJ45 cable.

To set up your own blindingly fast home network, you'll need one of each of the above components. You'll be able to connect any two of your computers that have serial ports. If you require a larger network, consider investing in a printer switch:

The printer switch

Using as many printer switches as you require, you should theoretically be able to create a network of the size you require.

Or if you're really keen on being on the cutting edge, and you've got an RJ45 (LAN) port on the back of your computer, good for you. Sometimes however, LAN ports have been known to pack up a bit. Should you run into any trouble with yours, try resetting it, with one of these handy gadgets:

The irreplaceable RJ45 reset cable

Have fun networking!

Friday, 12 May 2006

Neenish Tarts

A pack of 6 Neenish Tarts
only $4.99 + $3.50 p&p anywhere in NewZealand.
high-quality, home-baked Neenish Tarts
email me today to place your order
picture not of actual product, but very similar
each tart is approximately 6cm in diameter

Saturday, 6 May 2006

Spilt Beans

Countdown had SPC baked beans (in rich tomato sauce) for 25c. With a limit of four cans per person, it was possible to go in and recieve, printed on the bottom of the reciept: "your savings today: $4.40". Poorly designed cans, the ones that give grocery boys nightmares. It could have been that some elderly can-production line designer who wanted his name to live on through the ages, created this flaw intentionally. Suffice it to say, that when all was said and done, my "savings today" was $26.40. It's always a good feeling, when you spend some of your hard earned* cash, that you spend $6 and walk out with 24 nutritious meals.

As the Nissan Serena's brakes started to apply themselves, I flicked my wrists, loosening up my fingers. Stepping out of the van, I was carrying no less than 44 cans of fairly cheap, and potent baked beans. It's not everyday that you find yourself outside at night holding 44 cans of baked beans, so I decided to "experiment".

In my first experiment, I re-discovered the rudimentary principle of centrifugal force. The 20 cans on my left and the 24 on my right pulled at me with slightly un-equal G-force, resulting in an extremely fast but drunken looking spin. Coming to the conclusion that if I wanted to retain the use of my arms, I should start slowing down, I found that it wasn't going to be easy. I'd built up such a heck of a lot of momentum. I pictured the Chinese lady next door's mother-in-law, turning in her bed at the sound of 44 cans of baked beans scraping on our exposed aggregate driveway.

At that stage of my impromptu Physics degree, I decided that I wanted a double major: A MBSci, majoring in physics, and applied modern art. Finding 8 more cans just inside our front door, I proceeded to stack up the 54 baked bean cans. Considering the fact that the cans aren't designed for stacking, I considered the feat something of an achievement.













*speaking for myself


Saturday, 29 April 2006

cycling on a dodgy tire

"...a nod of mutual agreement about anything in-particular to the heavily built second-hand-dealing, and balding giant, who is a frequenter of Christchurch's garage sales..."

Yesterday I looked at the tire of my brother's bike. The back tire was looking a bit dodgy. the canvas was starting to show through, and the tube was bulging out a bit. Early this morning when I looked at the front tire, I saw that it, too was almost at the end of it's journey, so to speak.

...I drifted into semi-conciousness. automatically raising my wrist to infront of my face, where I could read my watch, I saw that it was 6:40am or thereabouts. Quickly pulling on my brother's pair of shorts, that are getting close to the length of a pair of 3/4's, but not quite. Pulling my jersey with the t-shirt still inside it from last night, over my head, I stood up. My 70's as, and very comfortable flowery orange mattress was on the floor. screwing up my duvet and large double sheet, which, when folded over does the job, and threw it between the large inset wardrobe, and the other clothes cupboard, - ontop of a box with some other clothes on it. My pillow followed suit. Folding the mattress in half with my foot, I was able to open the bedroom door and head for the bathroom. Just a few drops of cold water.

And dammit, I've got a sore throat. Drinking a couple of handfulls of the water doesn't help. Deciding that socks would be wise, I head back into my room and find a clean pair of sports socks that almost match. Ready for whatever the day might throw at me, I went down to the kitchen to unpack the dishwasher. Having got the dishwasher out of the way, it was time to check out the Garage Sales in the Buy-Sell. With a well laid out list of half a dozen or so promising looking Garage sales, I was just about ready to go. Back in my room again, I pulled on my Jeans, tightening the belt one notch more than I did usually. strapping my helmet over my NY cap, and having put the list I'd made, and the mapbook out of the car into my backpack, I walked to the front door.

Lifeless and heavy, sullen and all-enveloping, the mist hit me. With not even a look back at the closing wooden door behind me, I strode into the forboding environment. Almost blivious to the rain drenched seat, and briefly wiping some of the water off with my hand, I pulled the bike out of it's stand and jumped on. The sponge handle-bar covers were pleasently soaked. It was about 7:15 as I pulled out of our driveway. a few minutes later, as I pedalled furiously down Maidstone Road, (a straight and long road, heading towards where I was), I slowed my pace a bit. Putting my earphones in my ears, I then (fool-hardily) pulled out my iPod and stuck the 3 1/4 jack into it, - which made the screen light up. I think it was Ray Comfort who was speaking, but it was too early in the morning for evangalical motivation, so I switched to Poor Old Lu

First stop, 111 Maidstone Road. This garage sale was not a little bit a complete and utterly miserable failure, and so with little more than a nod of mutual agreement about anything in-particular to the heavily built second-hand-dealing, and balding giant, who is a frequenter of Christchurch's garage sales, I thanked my hosts and lost no time getting on my way...

Monday, 10 April 2006

Raxworthy Tune

Exclusive from the Raxfiles
and here by popular demand
we bring you the RaxTune

what are the raxfiles? what's all this about?

Darren Raxworthy here - whats the go?
Ask me lad - Yo - I'm in the know.
Yo - every chance you get you blow.
Take it nice and easy bro.
Come on kid, on with the show.
Don't go fast, you gotta go slow.

Raxworthy Yo!
Whats the go?
Keep it up bro
Make the show

Most of them say go with the flow
Ask the guys who earn their dough
They don't hang their jeans down low
All wear their fluro glasses though.
Come on kid, let's do this bro
We'll get the job done even so.

Raxworthy Yo!
Whatda go?
Keep up bro
Make da show

Saturday, 8 April 2006

The Midas Touch

"...The very youngest, meanwhile, desperately hanging on to her daddy's back pockets..."

This afternoon, Mum and I crashed a 50th Wedding Anniversary, which, I am led to believe, is more commonly termed: "Golden Anniversary". Seeing as the celebration was over in Dallington Area (Breezes Road), I typed this up on the drive home. Mum helped me out with, you know, wording some of the more tricky parts of it... It was real funny, in the (church) hall, after the celebration, seeing the young children (not a few), darting round the crowded hall. In stark contrast to the majority of the population who appeared to be chronologically challenged...

violently repelling the milling throng of hunger-stricken pale faced children and toddlers, the elderly men formed perimeters around the heavily laden tables. Without pausing for any pleasentries and seemingly oblivious to the hopful, tear stained complexions of a generation beyond their venerable comprehension, the men set to their task.

In one corner of the modestly decorated, and well lighted room, 5 younglings between the ages of 10 and 2 sat obediently, their subdued impatience just showing through the older two's faces. The next two youngest of the group of children, ever looking up to their big brother and sister, also were looking expectantly at the several tables that the room boasted. The very youngest, meanwhile, desperately hanging on to her daddy's back pockets.

I happened a glance around the busy room, noticing one or two of the more adventurous women, who, still in the higher end of the age bracket, were venturing forward to the tables. Daddy glanced at his wife, and with almost imperceptible eye movement, the mutual agreement was concreted. With an equally low level of emotion showing, Daddy raised his head, signalling his prodgeny that they were at liberty to "tuck in".

Like so many racing hounds being released from their cages onto the track, the mangled half-corpse of a rabbit alluring them, exhorting them to greater efforts, the children sped to the tables...

Friday, 7 April 2006

the elusive character returns...

"...he shows just the slightest weakness; turning up the collar of his well weathered Rodd&Gunn jacket..."

An almost remorseful, longing look back at the door, then stoically turning his head and setting off into the blinding rain, the foul expanse of nothingness which lay before him. Oblivious to the violent storm, he shows just the slightest weakness; turning up the collar of his well weathered Rodd&Gunn jacket, enabling the biting particles of what is commonly called rain to impact with the back of his neck and almost unnoticably but systematically, collectively drench the back of his t-shirt. And you guessed it, because beneath his jacket, and beneath his brother's "neo-esque" "physically pin-striped" navy jersy, was the Santorini t-shirt, promoting, as always, the idea that consuming vast quantities of Ouzo was what kept the wearer going.

Two comments of arbitrary point and value were made to the Chinese man at the bus-stop, who did not deign to respond. Taking the unambiguous seat a few behind the driver, he settled down for the short trip, attempting the impossible: one or two moments of rest to make up for his troubled, horror-stricken night of sleeplessness.

A very poor bus-driver who should not have been given the job patted the accelerator and, when turning right at an intersection, would invariably turn into the right hand lane if it was empty. Only until a car, came down the right hand lane towards the bus would the driver wake from his reverie and pull into the correct lane on the left hand side of the road...

to be continued - if level of demand has an inversely proportional relationship to the enjoyment I would take from continuing...

to the days

Thursday, 6 April 2006

1107 hours 06.04.06

"...at the un-just time of 715 hours, his accursed alarm shattered a blissful but meaningless dream..."

Deftly flicking the lid of his laptop up, the elusive character paused to think. The laptop, a Toshiba TE2100, showed that this man had taste, but not enough experience to be as elite as his exterior, his mannerisms and appearence would appear to mirror. (The TE2100 though having the coveted TOSHIBA badge, is not infact made by Toshiba - and is of cheaper design and manufacture, than, say, the Satelite or the all-powerful Qosimo)The fact that he was wearing his younger (but slightly taller and more solid) brother's ex-army jersy says a fair bit as well. The cuffs fair down over his wrists where they should probably have been tucked under. The black t-shirt advertising the Greek Resteraunt in Town is hidden by the jersy, so the people behind him don't realise that it's Ouzo this guy is running on. He's wearing a pair of jeans (size 32) (the belt helps), which, slightly flared, cover his Jandals ($9.99 at the Warehouse). This is without a shadow of doubt, a man of fashion - his finger's obviously on the pulse, two or three steps ahead of most of the other first year students in the room, (although they probably think he's quite behind them). We left this elusive and well-dressed man, pausing to think. Even as he pulls the USB wireless card out of his bag and carefully but directly reaches round the back of his laptop plugging it in (the result of many years of practice), the thought hits him - "why am I here?". Why is this man here? Because he woke up in the morning and came here.

At the un-just time of 715 hours, his accursed alarm shattered a blissful but meaningless dream. Roughly dragging his body accross the edge of his sleeping platform, he leaned over the side, hands on the floor, till he could reach the red cabinet. Silencing the vile noise, he pulled himself back under his duvet...

To the falsetto lyrics of a couple of Chris Martin's earlier and better songs, and concerned about the battery level in his mp3 player, the tired man shot off down the long and unforgiving Maidstone Road. As always, it was pedal to the metal and just the one goal in mind - the journey back to base. A quick stop at the best little bakery in New Zealand, this involves a painfully long wait for three women, obviously each striving to attain the stereotype of the middle-aged upper middle class woman, ordering and or waiting for their coffees.

With the four cheese and bacon knots securely stowed in his bag, the man was ready for anything the day might throw at him...

Anything, but the Management Science lecture!


Thursday, 16 March 2006

Chapter Something - from the RaxFiles

Exclusive from the Raxfiles
and here by popular demand...
chapter something


A solitary figure walked briskly along the left hand side of the road on the run-down pathway. Potholes littered the path, and screwed up pieces of glad-wrap, cheap soft-drink cans and broken pieces of gib-board that some builders had left there. He glances to the left. An unkempt man is out to it, lying under a couple of damp, squashed card-board boxes. The familiar stench of heroin sickens the man walking past, and he shivers somewhat convulsively. The brick walls of the terraced houses on the other side of the road are almost completely covered in un-tasteful and poorly done graffiti. A couple of dull thuds. The man spins round, just in time to see a couple of very full plastic supermarket bags, full of rubbish, rolling off the pathway, from where they’d obviously been thrown from out of one of those smashed windows.

He was wearing a pair of blend jeans. They were slightly faded from the thighs down to past the knees, but they weren’t like that when he bought them. It was years of wear and tear that had got them to this condition. That pair of jeans, - his third pair since he’d stopped growing, he’d had for a year and a half now. He wore the same pair every day of the year, unless he was somewhere where a more formal mode of dress was required, until they literally started falling apart, and finally disintegrating. Size thirty-two jeans, he wore them so that they almost, but not quite touched the ground at the back of his dark brown leather Clarks shoes. This allowed for a respectably “baggy” look, but not so much as to impede his progress.

On the back of his black tee-shirt that was starting to fade, was an advertisement for the favourite Greek drink, Ouzo. “Ouzo-power” it stated. It hung over his jeans, covering pretty much all of his two back pockets. This was a tee-shirt he’d bought one time at a cozy little restaurant in his hometown of Christchurch, called Santorini.

You wouldn’t see it, unless you had a trained eye, but this particular man was not ordinary. Firstly, the SIG Sauer in his right back pocket, only just hidden from view by the tee-shirt. His chosen weapon, the Swiss-made SIG Sauer P220, widely acclaimed as one of the best hand-guns in production, was always with him. Secondly, the light, regular way he walked, enabling him to get places quickly without standing out, the way he would if he ran. A sheathed knife, with a blade of 8 inches was strapped to the outside of his left thigh. The hole in the bottom of his spacious front left pocket enabled him, in cases of emergency, to reach through and quickly un-strap and pull the knife out...

go to www.aphmoore.bravehost.com/chaptersomething.htm to read the conclusion...
my site's a bit shoddy at the moment, but it's getting there...

the inaugural post

Hey you guys,

My blogs called TBC.
Give me a yell if you can't work out why...

Here's my first blog (URL below). I started this just before me and my family left New Zealand on a big 6 month OE, around about late Feb, 2005. This blog isn't up to much, and I'll never update it again, but there's a couple of articles of interest perhaps...

http://andrewmoore6monthoe.blogspot.com/

and my site:

www.aphmoore.bravehost.com/

which, though still enroute to "perfection", may be worth a visit...

to the days.